From Buenos Aires

[Juan]

It has been so wonderful to come across this forum! Thank you so much for setting up this meeting place! So... I guess this means that I'm not the only guy out there wearing skirts in public! Oher than that, that is, besides expressing my surprise and contentmen and congratutating hippy-kez for all this undertaking and all his drive (which I understand derives from a former initiative), I’m afraid I have very little to report. I suppose male skirts and male fashion freedom in general are not much of a controversial issue any more. I mean, after all, you come face to face with savagely pierced and horrifyingly tattooed youngsters all the time, displaying outrageous hairdos and freaky outfits… a man wearing skirts and other apparel conventionally considered “feminine”, is probably not really something “way over the top” as is used to be. Unusual or funny perhaps, but not really offensive or disgusting to most people.

I acknowledge that wearing a skirt might get you to be discriminated against when applying for a job or singled out in a particularly conservative environment, like a church… but then, why would you want to work in a place where you are not accepted the way you are, or attend a service you are not really welcome to? (I’ve attended Catholic masses in very sober skirts without any problem, so I guess the issue is not the outfit, but it being perceived as a provocation)

As for me, I wear skirts all the time. I don’t keep any record, so I can’t really tell how many times a week, but I guess I wear them just as often as I wear trousers, if not more. I can’t leave the house without my earrings (I have both ears pierced) and most of my shoes have moderately-high heels. No, I don’t wear stilettos… but all my footwear comes from the “ladies” section. I love platforms. Can’t have enough of them: I guess I just got stuck I the 70s. Platform-wedge sandals, mules, and clogs really drive me nuts (they take up a lot of space in the closet!) I seldom wear makeup (the only reason being that it’s one of the few things my wife´s still not comfortable with), but I often polish my nails, especially my toe-nails during the summer.

What else? Oh, yes: since I know how to sew my own clothes (and my wife’s), all my clothing looks exactly the way I want it to look: I wear 70s-like bell-bottom pants, and palazzos, as well as embroidered blouses. I guess I look quite feminine by traditional standards.

Am I a cross-dresser? I don’t know. What do you think… am I? I don’t intend to look or “pass” as a woman (let alone with my beard), although on occasions I’m mistaken for one (when addressed from behind).

What’s wrong with me, then? Nothing, I believe: I simply give myself “permission” to wear whatever garments I like, those I feel identified with, no matter what others think a “real” man “should” wear. It may have something to do, I wonder, with shifting gender roles. As I’ve always performed in my relationships those activities traditionally assigned to the female partner, at some point (very early on!) I may have started relating with a more compliant, unassertive, and creative image of myself.

Now, picture me the way I was dressed this morning, in my ankle-length jean skirt, my orange turtle neck sweater, my high-heeled black boots with matching handbag, accessorized with large crystal ear-studs, a brown stone necklace, silver bracelets and rings, walking confidently through the streets. What happened? Did I get any mocking comments? Astonished stares? Did I overhear giggles?

No: nothing of the sort. Nothing ever happens, actually. Of course I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that, along these many years, I’ve had to face offensive comments and scorn once in a while, but those have been very rare, isolated events.

Positive remarks and compliments by far overshadow negative ones. So, if any of you guys out there is wishing to go out wearing a skirt or high heels, my advice would be: go right ahead! You have nothing to fear, nothing to lose, and a lot of fun to win! Just do so naturally and in a relaxed way, and enjoy the experience. Don’t take my word for it: try it for yourselves. I tell you: even my most extreme flower-pattern-printed skirts or chunky-funky-platform sandals at most get as little as a startled glimpse or a muttered comment. Now: if you are intending to wear those garments as a provocation or transgression… you might feel disappointed: people are too concerned about their own affairs to care less about what you wear.

On the other hand, I don’t have a single friend who has taken his “fashion freedom” to the extent I have. I don’t even know of any single male in my city who does, so I do feel a little like the “black sheep” at times. That’s why this forum is such a great find for me. I hate controversies, plus I don’t feel discriminated against, nor do I have much to rant or argue about, so you won’t have me “defending” any particular “cause” or attacking anybody. What I’d love to have is simply fellow “free-dressers” (let’s call us that) to share ideas and experiences with.

I used to have a colleague who somehow managed to always wear a dress to work (in quite conservative surroundings!) He has left now. So again I’m the only nutty skirt-wearer in town. Good that you are all out there, guys! I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

Juan

[r.m.anderson]

Juan:

Welcome to the Atrium!
It is a pleasure to have a member with view points from the southern hemisphere.
Really delighted to have someone wear skirts other than during Mardi Gras!

"KILT-ON"
rm

[Ryan]

Hi Juan,

I like to belatedly welcome you to the All-new Atrium.

What’s wrong with me, then? Nothing, I believe: I simply give myself “permission” to wear whatever garments I like, those I feel identified with, no matter what others think a “real” man “should” wear. It may have something to do, I wonder, with shifting gender roles. As I’ve always performed in my relationships those activities traditionally assigned to the female partner, at some point (very early on!) I may have started relating with a more compliant, unassertive, and creative image of myself.

Now, picture me the way I was dressed this morning, in my ankle-length jean skirt, my orange turtle neck sweater, my high-heeled black boots with matching handbag, accessorized with large crystal ear-studs, a brown stone necklace, silver bracelets and rings, walking confidently through the streets. What happened? Did I get any mocking comments? Astonished stares? Did I overhear giggles?

No: nothing of the sort. Nothing ever happens, actually. Of course I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that, along these many years, I’ve had to face offensive comments and scorn once in a while, but those have been very rare, isolated events.

Positive remarks and compliments by far overshadow negative ones. So, if any of you guys out there is wishing to go out wearing a skirt or high heels, my advice would be: go right ahead! You have nothing to fear, nothing to lose, and a lot of fun to win! Just do so naturally and in a relaxed way, and enjoy the experience. Don’t take my word for it: try it for yourselves. I tell you: even my most extreme flower-pattern-printed skirts or chunky-funky-platform sandals at most get as little as a startled glimpse or a muttered comment. Now: if you are intending to wear those garments as a provocation or transgression… you might feel disappointed: people are too concerned about their own affairs to care less about what you wear.

On the other hand, I don’t have a single friend who has taken his “fashion freedom” to the extent I have. I don’t even know of any single male in my city who does, so I do feel a little like the “black sheep” at times. That’s why this forum is such a great find for me. I hate controversies, plus I don’t feel discriminated against, nor do I have much to rant or argue about, so you won’t have me “defending” any particular “cause” or attacking anybody. What I’d love to have is simply fellow “free-dressers” (let’s call us that) to share ideas and experiences with.

Juan

I quoted the parts of your posting that I want to discuss.

I, too, have given myself "permission" to wear what I like, regardless of what "society" say. And I could see myself wearing an outfit as you described, although I using wear skirts whose hems end at my knees or slightly above. I have yet to pierce my ears. I should one day, as I'm tired of losing my clip-on earrings. Like you, I wear "woman's" shoes with my freestyle outfits. The highest heel I could comfortably wear is 2 1/2 inches (6.3 cm), though I've been wearing lower ones lately. I love high heels, don't you? But I do have some ballet style "flats" that I adore. I often carry them as "emergency spares," if my high heels get too uncomfortable.

I'm glad your skirt wearing have been a mostly positive experience. Indeed, you could have been describing my skirt wearing experiences. And I often wear my outfits in "the Big Apple" (New York City)! It is a pity, though, that many more men don't "take the plunge" and wear their nifty numbers out in the street.

I had to stifle a giggle when you said, "Now: if you are intending to wear those garments as a provocation or transgression… you might feel disappointed: people are too concerned about their own affairs to care less about what you wear." While I have many reasons for wearing "those garments," one reason is to provoke and transgress. Sometimes I get reactions, but, as you discovered, as I did too, many people "care less about what [I] wear."

Like you, I don't have any friend who is into freestyle fashion as I am. I too find comfort to be among "my own" at this forum. I hope you gotten over feeling like a "black sheep." And I'm glad to see that you have no axes to grind. "Live and let live," as I like to say.

It's good to see you felt enough at home here to submit some postings, as I've seen some of them. I haven't replied to any, but I imagine I will. I do wish the forum's members would participate more. I've seen complaints that it's too dead here. But you and I are here, and we could put some life back in the All-new Atrium by submitting threads and replies.

Talk to you again. And welcome, belatedly, again to the All-new Atrium.

RYAN

Are steaks still cheap in Buenos Aires?